For me there is a difference between being “welcomed” and “belonging.” Being welcomed means that people let me into a space. Belonging means that people know me, know my story, and value me and my contributions.
I like this distinction. It's the difference between the churches who are "welcoming" and those who are truly "affirming." That slight distinction isn't so slight when it means you've found your people!
I would not be opposed to making t-shirts for the Church of Kevin (working name) and also for those of us who have deconstructed from religion (any religion!) and call it Former Church Kids United (FCKU)...something about it being almost a curse word really scratches an itch.
You articulated perfectly what I've been struggling with all my life. Community is what is missing in my life, but I avoid it, because it does feel like "work." Then I feel guilty because I "should" just want to "show up," but I don't naturally feel that way. Then I call myself selfish, ungrateful, and all kinds of other judgy things. But I'm not selfish -- I really do want to contribute -- and I'm not ungrateful -- I'm so thankful for the ways others have shown up for me. It's a conflict I haven't been able to resolve yet.
What makes me feel like I belong is when people remember me, whether that's as simple as sending me a text on my birthday, or sending me a care package when I'm really sick. My this year is to remember people more often, and I've been doing okay, but I'd like to do even better.
Love all of this so much, Kevin! As a fellow fine art photographer making a comeback in my 50’s I’d love to show my work in your gallery! Http://lindaplaisted.com
I have started holding a difference between friends (people I gel with, get on with easily) and community (people I might _not_ find easy or gel with, but who I can care for and receive care from). I don’t know the other people in my apartment complex well, and don’t think we would be friends, but I want to build a community with them where we can water each others plants or drop off groceries if needed. I think that secular society is often missing that community - Janet from church who is a bit annoying to talk to but who will always organise a casserole for anyone who’s sick, George who will help you clean out your gutters but doesn’t share any of your hobbies.
We’ve been building a community in my town with our shared dog breed. Maybe it’s the extroversion of the corgi, but it’s really hard to not feel comfortable to strike up conversation with fellow corgi owners. Maybe it’s a dog people thing? I personally love getting to talk about my favorite topic, my dog, with others with that same enthusiasm. We share similar struggles (obscene amounts of fur, attitude, other challenges), so it’s nice to have a group that we can also lean on for advice and help.
I think communities really flourish when we’re a bit vulnerable and recognize the vulnerability in others looking for a “group”. The world needs more vulnerability. 💜 —and dogs 😁
I’m so excited about this, Kevin! I live just 45 min north in Dayton. (The Gem City, as in, a gem in the crown of the Queen City.)
I am recovering from religious trauma. I have survived on comedy. You and Pete Holmes have are part of my “care team.”
I am will be there when you are ready to open. I also would like to offer to come down to clean, paint, eat….. anything to support you. It’s my gift back to you for giving me so much through your comedy and your engagement with followers of your work. We need authentic engagement now more than ever. 🩷
I think that face to face community is a wonderful idea. Social media can be fun, but also stressful and time consuming. Let´s gather with people to share time and activities that make them feel alive.
Yes please! Sunday gathering and all this. Keep doing what you're doing ... and doing LESS of what you don't want to be doing. We're staying tuned. And we'd totally make the drive down from Belleville MI (near Metro airport) to join in. We did drive to Toledo for your show after all! A grand time. I wonder if you remember the obnoxious receipt machine noise that you said sounded like "a dry condom being pulled on." That was us. Thanks for making us laugh (even more)!
Yass! If I lived nearby I would totally come along. Maybe you could call it "Shamala Come-in-a-la" or "welcoma hamala"? I may spend the rest of the day trying to come up with name ideas.
For me there is a difference between being “welcomed” and “belonging.” Being welcomed means that people let me into a space. Belonging means that people know me, know my story, and value me and my contributions.
I like this distinction. It's the difference between the churches who are "welcoming" and those who are truly "affirming." That slight distinction isn't so slight when it means you've found your people!
I would not be opposed to making t-shirts for the Church of Kevin (working name) and also for those of us who have deconstructed from religion (any religion!) and call it Former Church Kids United (FCKU)...something about it being almost a curse word really scratches an itch.
I feel like I belong when one of my friends mentions in passing a small detail I didn't think they noticed. also when they share their food with me :]
You articulated perfectly what I've been struggling with all my life. Community is what is missing in my life, but I avoid it, because it does feel like "work." Then I feel guilty because I "should" just want to "show up," but I don't naturally feel that way. Then I call myself selfish, ungrateful, and all kinds of other judgy things. But I'm not selfish -- I really do want to contribute -- and I'm not ungrateful -- I'm so thankful for the ways others have shown up for me. It's a conflict I haven't been able to resolve yet.
What makes me feel like I belong is when people remember me, whether that's as simple as sending me a text on my birthday, or sending me a care package when I'm really sick. My this year is to remember people more often, and I've been doing okay, but I'd like to do even better.
Love all of this so much, Kevin! As a fellow fine art photographer making a comeback in my 50’s I’d love to show my work in your gallery! Http://lindaplaisted.com
this is fantastic! Where are you located?
You could call it "Over the Rhine-bow"!
I have started holding a difference between friends (people I gel with, get on with easily) and community (people I might _not_ find easy or gel with, but who I can care for and receive care from). I don’t know the other people in my apartment complex well, and don’t think we would be friends, but I want to build a community with them where we can water each others plants or drop off groceries if needed. I think that secular society is often missing that community - Janet from church who is a bit annoying to talk to but who will always organise a casserole for anyone who’s sick, George who will help you clean out your gutters but doesn’t share any of your hobbies.
This sounds amazing, Kevin! If I lived nearby id totally come hang!
Right now protests and rallies are places where I am finding community in shared concerns and goals.
We’ve been building a community in my town with our shared dog breed. Maybe it’s the extroversion of the corgi, but it’s really hard to not feel comfortable to strike up conversation with fellow corgi owners. Maybe it’s a dog people thing? I personally love getting to talk about my favorite topic, my dog, with others with that same enthusiasm. We share similar struggles (obscene amounts of fur, attitude, other challenges), so it’s nice to have a group that we can also lean on for advice and help.
I think communities really flourish when we’re a bit vulnerable and recognize the vulnerability in others looking for a “group”. The world needs more vulnerability. 💜 —and dogs 😁
I’m so excited about this, Kevin! I live just 45 min north in Dayton. (The Gem City, as in, a gem in the crown of the Queen City.)
I am recovering from religious trauma. I have survived on comedy. You and Pete Holmes have are part of my “care team.”
I am will be there when you are ready to open. I also would like to offer to come down to clean, paint, eat….. anything to support you. It’s my gift back to you for giving me so much through your comedy and your engagement with followers of your work. We need authentic engagement now more than ever. 🩷
I think that face to face community is a wonderful idea. Social media can be fun, but also stressful and time consuming. Let´s gather with people to share time and activities that make them feel alive.
Yes please! Sunday gathering and all this. Keep doing what you're doing ... and doing LESS of what you don't want to be doing. We're staying tuned. And we'd totally make the drive down from Belleville MI (near Metro airport) to join in. We did drive to Toledo for your show after all! A grand time. I wonder if you remember the obnoxious receipt machine noise that you said sounded like "a dry condom being pulled on." That was us. Thanks for making us laugh (even more)!
I will absolutely take the drive from Louisville to visit your space!
Belonging is feeling invited and included just as I am. Not being made to feel out of fashion or off trend or old. It's a very no-stress feeling.
Yass! If I lived nearby I would totally come along. Maybe you could call it "Shamala Come-in-a-la" or "welcoma hamala"? I may spend the rest of the day trying to come up with name ideas.